In addition to the challenging theological questions that family members may raise (see the questions listed in the section "How to speak to your pastor about your transgender family member"), additional questions may come up that are related to how to maintain cohesion in the church family when a member has a transgender identity.  For example:

• How do we show Christian love to a person with a transgender identity? And to his/her family?

• What impact will this person’s behavior have on the church family?

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When unprepared for this situation and the related questions that may arise, clergy and church members may respond in mixed and/or conflicting ways that may impede their ability to care for the family.  An example of this situation might be using someone's transgender identity disclosure as a means of identifying other lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender church members, while at the same time appropriately referring the transgender person to pastoral counseling. 

 

In addition, there can be confusion about applying the biblical directive that women not dress as men and vice versa in the modern world (Genesis 22:5).  Some church members may experience psychological distress upon seeing a transitioning church member in public.  The congregation might gossip and sit in judgment despite the biblical injunctions to avoid these behaviors (Matthew 7:1-3; John 8:7).  This kind of behavior can exacerbate disenfranchised grief in family members (more details on family members' experience of disenfranchised grief are available in the sub-section, "Disenfranchised Grief," in Resources for Families). 

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In addition, both mixed and conflicting messages may be sent that compromise the church’s ability to lead the community on this issue.  If a transgender church member requests a name change in the church directory, how will it be handled?  If other family members also belong to the church and will be offended by the change, how will the church respond to their concerns?

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If some church members are concerned about addressing what they perceive as the transgender person's sexual sin, is the church equally concerned about other more common forms of sexual sin among its members, such as marital infidelity, sexual harassment, and sexual abuse? 

 

Recently, church denominations have responded to transgender people in a range of ways from conservative to liberal, but responses to their families are either not well documented or absent.  Both types of responses to transgender people can have negative effects on their family members.  At one end of the spectrum, some denominations have focused on telling Christians where they should stand on this issue as the primary, publicly visible response to transgender individuals and their families (1*).  These statements share some common themes, including the view that gender identity follows from biological sex and the perspective that a transgender identity is sinful and unnatural since it breaks the connection between gendered behavior (being masculine or feminine) and sex (being biologically male or female).  Another theme includes the suggestion that transgender identity is a result of individual choice and that person could voluntarily choose to stop pursuing a transgender identity.  The final theme is that a transgender identity entails a willful attack on the biblical model of marriage between one man and one woman.  At the same time, some of the statements express Christian love for transgender people and show awareness of the church's flawed response toward this group of people in the past.  

 

No matter how well intentioned, position statements may sound insensitive to family members.  The use of position statements must be carefully considered because they may appear to be hypocritical if all forms of sexual abuse, harassment, rape, marital infidelity, and so on are not also the subject of position statements.  Family members may feel guilt by association and may feel that they are being singled out for a relatively infrequently occurring issue when other much more frequently occurring sexual sins in the church are not being addressed.  Beyond position statements, perhaps other responses like pastoral care for family members occur on a more individual basis and may not be in the public view.  However, while it is fairly easy to locate position statements, the availability of other church-sponsored support for families with transgender members, such as support groups, or trainings for church members and clergy on how to respond to transgender people and their families, appears to be much more limited.  

 

On the other end of the spectrum, some denominations have offered a full welcome to transgender people (2). Some churches have developed outreach programs to the transgender community (see this example from a Roman Catholic church). Family members who are part of the church may go through the stages of grief when a family member transitions.  They often experience ambiguous loss, or a loss that is incomplete or uncertain (3; more details about family members' experience of ambiguous loss are available in the sub-section, "Ambiguous Loss," in Resources for Families).  Since the loss is of this type, churches can sometimes overlook it, and family members may not be able to have the kind of rituals that typically accompany a loss (e.g., funeral after death).  If the church proceeds with a full welcome to their transgender family member, other family members might feel that the validity of their ambivalent response to their relative's transition is being questioned or dismissed by their church.  In addition, if their church hasn't given them a chance to express their grief either publicly or in a private ritual (if they desire to do so), they may wonder why their church hasn't given them an adequate opportunity to mourn their loss as part of the process of accepting the transition. 

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There are a range of stories of faith communities dealing with the gender transition of a pastor or church members:

• Struggling and eventual acceptance (4)

• Affirming from the start (5)

• Stories of the role of faith in a transgender adult’s resolution of gender identity issues (6) 

• Dismissing the pastor following a close vote of the congregation after coming out during a sermon (7)

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In addition, consider the experience of leaders of faith communities when one of their children identifies as a transgender person, who live in states that are considering bills that would limit gender affirming care.  As the number of state legislatures that have voted these bills into law has increased, the reaction from faith leaders has been starkly divided.  While some leaders see the laws as reflecting biblical views of creation, others see the laws as being mean-spirited and inflicting cruelty.

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Meanwhile some denominations, such as Roman Catholics, are trying to increase their openness to transgender people.  In November 2023, the Vatican clarified that transgender people can be baptized, serve as godparents and witness weddings in the Roman Catholic Church, under certain circumstances.  The statement the Church released said that transgender people would be baptized just like others so long as it didn't cause disorientation or scandal among other Catholics. While the statement didn't further define these terms, it went on to say that there was nothing in canon law that prohibited transgender people from witnessing marriages and that they could serve as godparents.

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Subsequently, in April 2024 the Roman Catholic Church released a document which stated that any intervention that changed an individual's sex was a risk to the dignity a person receives at conception.  The announcement noted that this document doesn't change the Pope's previous position on inclusivity.

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*The citations on this page come from the research literature and other publications and are available upon request.

1. Assemblies of God, 2014; National Catholic Reporter, 2019; Southern Baptist Convention, 2014

2. Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), 2018 or an affirmation of equality for all people (Episcopal Church, 2017)

3. Boss, 1999

4. Leland, 2017

5. Mota, 2018

6. Heyer, 2015

7. Hauser, 2020