Implications for Church Leaders: Individual and Family Level

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If you are a member of the clergy or of a church, here are some things you might consider doing to support families with a transgender member:

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• Be a resource and support

  • Speak to family members about their transgender relative

  • Integrate all family members in church activities

  • Reassure them of their place in the church family

• Help families find spiritual meaning in their experience

  • Comfort family members in their grief; help them find peace

• In particular, assist them to deal with the spiritual aspects of disenfranchised grief that stems from a loss that can't be named due to stigma

  • Address ambiguous loss by building families' sense of certainty in God rather than physical life (Psalm 90:2, Isaiah 40:8, James 1:17)

• Engage them in an appropriate ritual or ceremony to acknowledge their grief due to ambiguous loss.  For example you might adapt a ceremony from Ceremonies for Spiritual Healing and Growth for this purpose.

• Assist families to forgive in cases where forgiveness is needed​

• Consider starting a church-based support group for families with a transgender member

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Implications for Church Leaders: Church Level

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In addition, you might consider doing these things at the church level (however, they also apply to the individual/family level):

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• Familiarize yourself with the scientific knowledge on gender identity and discuss biblical views on transgender behavior with family members.  Some current clinical literature is available in Resources for Clinicians (see the second paragraph).

  • Openly and honestly address the challenging theological questions raised earlier.  

• Explain and model how to show Christian love in this situation

• Discuss the effect of transgender identity on the role of any church position held (prior to transition) by the transgender person

• Facilitate communication between the family and church members 

• Consider focusing on the principle that all church members have sinned and fallen short of God's glory (Romans 3:23)

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These actions focus primarily on the church level:

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• Send consistent messages about the gender transition to the transgender person’s family and the community

• Avoid gossip and judgment within the congregation in favor of Christian love and compassion (Matt. 9:10; Mark 2:13-17; Luke 7:37-50). This action will help minimize families' sense of being judged for events outside their control.

• Promote collaborative, on-going relationships between church leaders and pastoral counselors, as well as specialty mental health clinicians

  • Family members may have questions about gender, sexual orientation, and mental health that may exceed your ability to answer.  If so, develop a list of experts to whom you can refer family members in order to get answers to their questions.

  • Consider establishing a consulting relationship between clergy and specialty mental health clinicians when additional support is needed 

• Bolster clergy members’ knowledge on topics such as gender, sexual orientation, and mental health

• Attend pastoral care conferences on transitions and transgender care.  An example of this type of conference is Beyond Pink and Blue: Transitions and Transgender Care, that is sponsored by the University of the Redlands Graduate School of Theology.  This pastoral care conference may be one of the few available and takes a more liberal approach to the topic.  Even if you come from a conservative background, you can still learn about how to provide pastoral care to transgender people.

• Get continuing education in behavioral health.  An example of this kind of training for ministers is available at this link.

 

You might also consider offering joint clergy-specialty mental health clinician-led workshops for the church family on these topics

• Education and awareness programs and resources, such as 

  • Pathways to Promise - an interfaith cooperative that organizes neighborhood clusters of congregations, offers trainings on mental health and substance abuse, and provides educational materials. They have free information on how to start a mental health ministry at your church.

  • Transgender Curriculum for Churches and Religious Institutions.  The Institute for Welcoming Resources offers a Transgender Curriculum for Churches and Religious Institutions. This training curriculum might best fit churches that are in the “preparation” stage of change, and who have decided that they want to welcome transgender church members.  A gap in the available curricula is training for those who are in the “contemplation” stage or are still considering the possibility of making a change.  A curriculum to address this gap is being developed by the Regeneration Resource Center.

  • Transgender Curriculum for Faith Communities - another curriculum resource that is available from the Pacific School for Religion.  Like the curriculum above, this training also may best fit churches that are in the "preparation" stage of change. 

  • Transgender Resources. These resources are from Focus on the Family.  The main focus of these resources appears to be on helping readers understand transgender identity from a conservative perspective, addressing children’s questions about this topic, and providing position statements.